Remembering 9/11

As 9/11 approches the ten year mark tomarrow I sit here thinking of that day and remembering all of those who were lost. I was in 7th grade at the time at school, as I was being told bad news and brought to Mrs. Chyenne's class to sit on the floor and watch the news, my heart pour out as I sat there crying and wondering if someone I knew or loved had died. So many lives and loved ones died for no reason and all I can say is it was there time to go god chose them to be in a better place. The images still haunt me to this day and the stories of those who surrvived touches me and all together it makes me apprieciate life more. For the first time my daughter will see these images she may not understand it now, but one day she will learn the history of it for it will never be forgotton. America grew stronger that day and everyday that goes bye we grow even more stronger feeling the love, support and strength that unites us!!

  Such a wonderful sunday! I love my baby girl shes growing up so quick!!! I know the gospel is true and I love are heavenly father he has done so much for me and I am so thankful for the blessings that I have recieved.
   I  have been strugling finacially latey which can be very stressful and overwhelming as we all may know. My hours may pick up but then the taxes eat me alive its like no matter how hard I try its not good enough. I continue to keep my faith and prey and in return I am blessed with happiness full of love and laughter and perhaps thats all I may need in life. Perhaps the lord has something else planned for me that Im not ready to accept. Its something I have to prey long and hard about and be patient for the right answers at the right time.
 I have been living in arizona for about 5 years now and I have two options: 1. I move back to Colorado or 2. I  take a step back swallow the differences between me and my mother and look and share a place together... both options  is a hard descion because no matter the out come theres gonna be issues. In return all I want is whats best for Savannah! 

Savannah my true blessing

     DNA results have arrived 99.99%  I had no doubts  other than savannahs father still might not want anything to do with her. Its been about 2 weeks havent heard from him or the courts for child support yet makes me wonder whats taking so long. I strongly believe that savannah has every right to know her family on his side, I hurt deep down inside knowing she may not have the chance I feel the sadness that she may feel one day, for she has done nothing wrong in this situation. It was between two adults one who is being an absent parent and chooses not to be around and if i had the option to change that factor alone then  I would ,but this situation is in the lords hands and I just gotta keep my faith in him that things will change. My lil girl means the world to me she gives me the strength to carry on and the courage to stand up for whats right she makes me want to be a better person !! She is getting so big so quickley and is very smart for her age, I have been threw so many trials in life with her that makes us stronger and grows us closer together that I am truely blessed to have her in my life. These trials in life are hard and can be stressful , but i also know it helps grow my faith in are heavenly father for I know he is there and listens to are prayers. Threw patients and guidence i know there will be many more blessings to come.

   The other day as I got up and said my prayers I asked to pertect savannah and watch over her to give her strength and keep her from harm. Not to sooner after I had prayed we left and this car was less than an inch from hitting us, the bumper of the car was touching the side of the stroller. I was so furious and scared as the guy didnt even care. My lil girl almost got hit and was in shock she did not wanna let go of me, but she found the courage and strenght to go on threw the day. I had then realized I was truley blessed she was not hit and my faith grew ten times stronger for are heavenly father does listen to are prayers. I then went from being frustrated and mad to being thankful. Shes my life, my world without her my life is incomplete!

     Savannah is now 21 pounds her lungs have finaly cleared up for the most part and we are still seeing ear specilists. she loves school especially arts and crafts dont blame her on that lol.. she loves the outdoors she would rather be out in the heat then inside where its cool.. Shes doing well learning ASL as I try and learn myself . She is truely a blessing to have in my life!

R.I.P Tyrel Kinard

My dearest friend Tyrel died July 31 2011, as the news was plastard all over facebook from all are friends I kept telling myself it couldn't be true. We go clear back to Elementry school together such a sweet guy who has always been there for me such a good friend who had such an amazing personality. Its now been 3 days since the accident and yet I still have a hard time dealing with his death as i watch old viedos and look at old photos remembering the good times and remembering him I cry. My dear friend Tyrel may you rest in peace and know that you are always loved and will never be forgoton, you live in each of your friends for you have touched us all in one way or another!!!

http://www.kdvr.com/news/kdvr-1-killed-1-injured-after-suv-plunges-into-aurora-creek-20110731,0,5328820.story?track=rss

Awaitng Paitentley...

Since the day my lil peanut was born she has always put a smile on my face and filled my heart with love and joy, yet in the back of my head I always feel bad for her not knowing her dad or his family. Rencentley the child support agency had found him and had a court hearing he had then requested for a dna test. Savannah went to lab and got swab she was such a good girl and we await the results but now that I think of it I wonder if it was ment for him to even be apart of her life. After all he did treat her wrong and took off  several times when I told him I would do dna if he was uncertain to ease his mind , hes missed out on the 1st year and a half of her life and makes me wonder will he ever be that father that she needs or just a deadbeat that comes and goes or doesnt know her at all. When the results come back will it change anything or will things remain the same, so many questions ponder my mind as I await for further instructions from the courts. All I ever wanted was for Savannah to know her dad and his family to know her herritage. I patientley await and prey for this all to come to an end to an understanding that I did everything I could for my baby girl. I love her so much I would do anything for her no matter how much it may hurt me in the long run. She is my everything!!!

Tubes

Savannah got tubes in her ears it was the quickest procedure ever and the nurse says she did better than all the kids that were there so iam very proud of her!! She was a little tipsy at first and it was kinda funny but it wore off and she's now a very happy camper getting into mischief and playing with her toys and everything else she can get her hands on. Took her earings out this morning took forever to get them out and now when I go to put them back in I realize her one ear closed up and her other is close to closing up but she wont let me put the earing in she fights you. Eaither way that kinda frustrates me how they closed up so quickly :( . Since the tubes have been in you can tell they are helping her she is now exploring her sounds very loud and clear and is smiling more than ever which I love to see. A great blessing for a georgous wonderful girl.

count your blessings

     The joy and wonders of being a parent is a wonderful experience, brings whole new meaning to life. From the moment of birth your amazed and filled with love wanting nothing but whats best for your child. From the long nights of no rest to the poopy diapers to teething you attened to want time to fly and as that time flys you wish it never did. Time flys faster than we all know as are children grow we realize and look back on the wonders of life are many blessings and the joy we share with others.
      My lil peanut also know as Savannah is the greatest joy in my life she has been threw so many trials in life since birth that no parent or child would wanna be put threw ( seizures, low weight, RSV, ear infections, reflex issues, etc). I often feel sorry for her wishing and wanting better for her and in the long run i know everything happens for a reason and that these trials make the both of us even stronger than before. She is a fighter, she is brave,smart and loving, the greatest blessing in my life who id do anything for no matter the situation. she is truely a miracle child mama's lil angel.
      Tomarow 414 she will be getting tubes in her ears it will be a great blessing to her to not have infections as bad and to be able to hear better. Not having to see her in so much pain will take alot of sadness off my shoulders Iam very worried about the procedure but happy at the same time. I know my heavenley father is looking over her and loves her, for she is a child of god.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

     Its FAITH that makes us keep going and fighting, its the LOVE that holds us strong as one, its the JOY that makes us laugh and all togheter its what makes us a FAMILY.